Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Unwarranted Guilt - It's Time to Set Boundaries

Unwarranted Guilt - It's Time to Set Boundaries

Have you ever felt guilty? There are many reasons one experiences guilt. Guilt hurts. Guilt is more of a sensation than it is a feeling. Though, one can very well have feelings of guilt.

There are many reasons why an individual experiences guilt. Perhaps you just couldn't be there for another person emotionally. Perhaps you were "made" to feel guilty by another person. Of course, one can buy into feeling guilt through intimidation. If you were "made" to feel guilty then perhaps you bought into another persons judgement of you? The above examples are unwarranted guilt and require and individual to set cognitive, spiritual, and emotional boundaries for themselves.

It's important for individuals to realize when they internalize unwarranted guilt. If and when a person does so it's co-dependence. They need to realize that they must set boundaries in their thinking and therefore their emotions so that they do not internalize the guilt and experience self-invalidation and lower self-esteem. It can be quite a challenge expecially with your family of origin. Your indigenous family may have laid guilt upon and in you.

There are certain important co-dependent themes that are triggered. A person needs to realize that only he/she could empower themselves to take charge of their own lives. He/She could make the necessary changes that would impact their own lives. For example, becoming alert to and aware of when to set boundaries for themselves in their thinking, and in their feeling.

It becomes emotionally difficult to set boundaries with someone who you love. It becomes difficult to watch someone you love continually hurt themselves. It becomes difficult to watch them destroy themselves. The guilt and the helplessness becomes overwhelming when you don't realize that you are "powerless over others behaviors".

It's at these times it becomes urgent to set firm boundaries for oneself, firm emotional boundaries and to use self talk, to firmly say stop to oneself. We can also use our connection to our higher power to set boundaries for ourselves.

I need to stay concious of my thoughts regarding caring about others. I need to say "stop" to myself in my thinking if and when I begin to have too many thoughts regarding my caring. When I stay conscious of my thoughts I can eliminate my emotional involvement. I validate myself. I think well of myself. This is healthy and common sense.

Please check out and purchase my books on the side panels. I'm available for counseling and consulting worldwide. I'm also available for presentation. My contact information is on my website at www.idaretoheal.com

Best
Joel V. BA. Education, BBA. Business Admin. M.A. Master's of Psychology, Human Behavior.

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