THE IDES OF MARCH

It is the month of March and the cancerous pain has begun to take charge.  I can feel it growing within the prostate.  It is enjoying the growth within me.  I can actually feel its joy at its presence.  However, I am not joyful.  It is truly a horrible feeling sensing an alien cell growth within my body.  It seems to be feeding on healthy cells and nourishing itself on their well-being. 

I turn to alternatives, hemp oil, cannabis, wormwood, high concentrations of turmeric, blueberries, baking soda, green smoothies with bananas, kale, spinach, pears, flaxseed, apple, apple seeds B17, more blueberries, blackberries, peaches, figs,  peer counseling, prays, primal sound, animated laughter with feelings.  It all helps but I realize not enough.  The emotional methods like "Animated Laughter with Feelings", Peer Counseling, Primal Sound,  spearhead by connection with the sensations within my body.  I am so glad I wrote my three books.  What a treasure. I am in touch with the physical sensation of the cancer growing within. 

Doctor Oncologist phones and suggests an implant, a global positioning marker to be placed by the prostate facilitating yet greater accuracy and narrowing of the high intensity white proton beam when I begin treatment.  I agree to the marker.  However, I need to extend my wait by two weeks.  The pain is increasing and I become anxious as to receiving my first treatments. 

I become nauseated by eggs, red meat, fried items, coffee, oranges, grapefruit, anything acidic or white. I decide to refrain from all the above. My diet becomes sardines, salmon, tofu, chicken, turkey, and steamed beets, carrots, kale or spinach.

The pain continues to increase and I just persevere and wait for my initiate visit to the Proton Caner Therapy Center.   I wait for the phone call regarding my initial visit.  More later.

Joel V.