Resolving Your Co-Dependence
I just left a co-dependent meeting where enough new participants were "stuck" in their stories, their dramas of anxiety, fear, depression, neediness, hopelessness, and disconnect from God (their higher power).
Several of the experienced participants shared their hope, their strength, their experience, their improved connection to their family members, and their connection to God and their higher power.
In the USA there definitely is drama to many stories. I'm sure it exists in many countries. I'd like to point out Elin Woods story. How she is matter of fact even though as she claims "has been through a great deal".
I lived seven years in Scandinavia and speak fluently a Scandinavian language. Elin is Swedish. As I assimilated into the society, I also learned to become quite matter a fact about situations, circumstances, and life's issues. However, I didn't disconnect emotionally from my feelings. It's different elsewhere, in other countries. Of course, it's inapproriate to "generalize".
In Scandnavia, I learned Re-evaluation Co-counseling or rc.org. I "disciplined" myself I learned it was natural to feel my feelings (connect and release, relinquish, let go, trasmit pain and painful feelings "out" of my body, in a disciplined way), and learned to effectively/efficiently use the ten or eleven manifestations of emotional release; animated laughter, elongated yawn, tearing, sobbing, shaking, chattering, hot, cold sweats, anger sounds/movements, scratching (it's under my skin and I just need to get it out) to move the energy out of body and "transform". I learned primal sound which enabled me to "go deeper" into my "stuck" emotions, access them, and then release, relinquish, let go, and even trasmit those feelings reflective of my emotions out of my body. I learned it was "natural", liberating, and precious to do so! The discipline to do so helped me in a huge way with both the pain I experienced having a total knee replacement and a total hip replacement. No, it's not a "mood" disorder. For haven sakes, psychologists, psychiatrists, please stop with your insanity diagnosis reflective of the DSM-IV. I know the game, "you need a diagnosis". Please tell your practitioner to get their head out, out of the DSM-IV. Truely, there are many compassionate, good, helpful psychiatrists, and psychologists.
One way therapy is but the beginning of the process world!
You are in charge and not your patterns. I know it's quite difficult to "discern" the difference between the patterns and "yourself"! The anxiety, fear, sad, anger, neediness, depression gets, gets in the way. I have great compassion for those who struggle, who suffer. I was one of you 40 years ago.
I have to admit the training I received going for my Marriage Family Therapy License was and is the pits. It's the reason I got my Master's in Human Behavior. The rigidities that exist in the profession and humankind contradict integration of self and not enhance the integration of self. I can tell you stories but I won't.
I think, truely, think it's time for humankind to just "get real" and educate themselves on accessing, connecting to, and learning the different manifestations of emotional release and become "well"! The knee jerk reaction by many is to become defensive, denial, and go deaf. It's all "fear"; it's all patterns. The patterns are boring, quick frankly. Whether it's negative ego, controlling rigidity, or ignorance, beliefs, values, and/or traits. It's still "patterns" reflective of "fear".
When you have released, relinquished, let go of, trasmitted the pain out of your body, what's left. Self-Love, Grace, Kindness, Caring, Affection, Connection to God, Authentic connection to others, Compassion, Forgiveness, Hope, Faith, Charity, Good Will, Peace, and Contentment.
Trust me, it really, really feels good! I truely wish it within everyone. It's the only way to be.
Please check out my website, www.idaretoheal.com, purchase my books, "I Dare to Heal with Compassionate Love", and "I Dare to Heal with Spiritual Power". I'm available for counseling on co-dependency issues here in San Diego, California. Please check out my website, www.healthplansinsandiego.com and purchase individual medical insurance, MediCare insurance (certified in most of the companies) or small group medical.
Best
Joel V. BA, Education, BBA, Business Admin. M.A. Masters of Psychology, Human Behavior.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Gaining Your Exposure/Promoting Your Product/Service on My Blog!
Gaining Your Exposure/Promoting Your Product/Service on My Blog!
I receive many comments with websites. Readers, definitely read "comments"!. I'm most certainly happy to allow/permit your comments with, with promoting your websites! However, I ask a fee to allow/permit your comments with, with promoting your website! I am certainly open to all who have legitimate websites and offer a legitimate product or even a legitimate service. I realize how challenging it can be to promote your worthwhile message.
They include manufacturers, publishers, licensed and non-licensed practitioners/professionals, trades people. I've received comments from many, many of you. I reserve the right to use discernment regarding your websites/comments.
I assume you will want to promote your websites on the most visited posts. I don't have an issue with you commenting on those most popular of posts. I simply ask that I been paid by way of my website in the purchase of both, both of my books, "I Dare to Heal with Compassionate Love" and "I Dare to Heal with Spiritual Power"! I will be publishing eventually my third book in the future as well. I will happily accept payment by way of paypal through the website, www.idaretoheal.com. Please let me know of the purchase of my books with the aim of allowing/permiting your promotional websites by way of your comments. Please send your comments with your promotional material before, before you purchase my books. I will notify you by E-mail to go ahead and purchase both, both "I Dare to Heal with Compassionate Love, and "I Dare to Heal with Spiritual Power". When I receive confimation of purchase by way of paypal, I will allow/permit your comment with your website. Purchase must be both books by way of my website. This means the full price of the books. The copies sell together for $37.00 paid in American Dollars. If you have any questions regarding this post please feel free to phone me or contact me by way of E-mail, info@idaretoeheal.com.
I'm available for counseling in San Diego on Co-dependency Issues, control, compliance, denial, low-self-esteem issues. Please also check out my website www.healthplansinsandiego.com. I specialize in Medicare Plans, Individual Health Plans, and Small Group Medical (all the major commercial insurers). I've been licensed as an Agent/Broker since 1986.
Best
Joel V BA, Education, BBA, Business Admin., M.A. Psychology of Human Behavior.
I receive many comments with websites. Readers, definitely read "comments"!. I'm most certainly happy to allow/permit your comments with, with promoting your websites! However, I ask a fee to allow/permit your comments with, with promoting your website! I am certainly open to all who have legitimate websites and offer a legitimate product or even a legitimate service. I realize how challenging it can be to promote your worthwhile message.
They include manufacturers, publishers, licensed and non-licensed practitioners/professionals, trades people. I've received comments from many, many of you. I reserve the right to use discernment regarding your websites/comments.
I assume you will want to promote your websites on the most visited posts. I don't have an issue with you commenting on those most popular of posts. I simply ask that I been paid by way of my website in the purchase of both, both of my books, "I Dare to Heal with Compassionate Love" and "I Dare to Heal with Spiritual Power"! I will be publishing eventually my third book in the future as well. I will happily accept payment by way of paypal through the website, www.idaretoheal.com. Please let me know of the purchase of my books with the aim of allowing/permiting your promotional websites by way of your comments. Please send your comments with your promotional material before, before you purchase my books. I will notify you by E-mail to go ahead and purchase both, both "I Dare to Heal with Compassionate Love, and "I Dare to Heal with Spiritual Power". When I receive confimation of purchase by way of paypal, I will allow/permit your comment with your website. Purchase must be both books by way of my website. This means the full price of the books. The copies sell together for $37.00 paid in American Dollars. If you have any questions regarding this post please feel free to phone me or contact me by way of E-mail, info@idaretoeheal.com.
I'm available for counseling in San Diego on Co-dependency Issues, control, compliance, denial, low-self-esteem issues. Please also check out my website www.healthplansinsandiego.com. I specialize in Medicare Plans, Individual Health Plans, and Small Group Medical (all the major commercial insurers). I've been licensed as an Agent/Broker since 1986.
Best
Joel V BA, Education, BBA, Business Admin., M.A. Psychology of Human Behavior.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Pleasers, Compliers, Fixers continued
Pleasers, Compliers, Fixers continued.
There are additional co-dependent patterns that reflect pleasers, compliers, fixers.
I make decisions without regard to the consequences.
I am afraid to express my beliefs, opinions, and feelings when they differ from others.
I give up my truth to gain approval from others or to avoid change.
copied from the world coda link.
Are you guilty of any of the above. If and when you feel guilt or shame, please don't. It's a hurt and a trauma that you were not responsible for. Now, is the time to be gentle and kind to yourself. Again, the underlying pain that perpetuates the above behavior is reflective of "neediness". I wrote about the four unfulfilled needs, unfulfilled frozen chronic past, unfulfilled chronic past, unfulfilled past acute, and present unfulfilled needs. Any of these unfulfilled needs can reflect the pain of a co-dependents suppressed neediness. "Neediness" is not always apparent to a co-dependent. The "neediness" can manifest itself in the form of anxiety, depression, or fear. It's confusing for the codependent. It's very difficult for the codependent to separate themselves from their neediness. If and when they could they would be able to get the profound difference of themselves and their pattern of "Neediness". It's confusing for the co-dependent when they have the parasites that are imprinted, embedded, hard wired, compulsive, and deeply rooted.
I will speak about the contradictions to the co-dependents unhealthy behavior to please, comply, and to fix in future posts.
My website is http://www.idaretoheal.com/. My books "I Dare to Heal with Compassionate Love", and "I Dare to Heal with Spiritual Power" can be purchased on the website. I'm available to counsel others on their condependent issues. Contact information is on my website. Please check out my other website if you need medical/medicare/medical coverage at http://www.healthplansinsandiego.com/.
Best
Joel V. BA, Education, BBA, Business Marketing, M.A. Psychology of Human Behavior
There are additional co-dependent patterns that reflect pleasers, compliers, fixers.
I make decisions without regard to the consequences.
I am afraid to express my beliefs, opinions, and feelings when they differ from others.
I give up my truth to gain approval from others or to avoid change.
copied from the world coda link.
Are you guilty of any of the above. If and when you feel guilt or shame, please don't. It's a hurt and a trauma that you were not responsible for. Now, is the time to be gentle and kind to yourself. Again, the underlying pain that perpetuates the above behavior is reflective of "neediness". I wrote about the four unfulfilled needs, unfulfilled frozen chronic past, unfulfilled chronic past, unfulfilled past acute, and present unfulfilled needs. Any of these unfulfilled needs can reflect the pain of a co-dependents suppressed neediness. "Neediness" is not always apparent to a co-dependent. The "neediness" can manifest itself in the form of anxiety, depression, or fear. It's confusing for the codependent. It's very difficult for the codependent to separate themselves from their neediness. If and when they could they would be able to get the profound difference of themselves and their pattern of "Neediness". It's confusing for the co-dependent when they have the parasites that are imprinted, embedded, hard wired, compulsive, and deeply rooted.
I will speak about the contradictions to the co-dependents unhealthy behavior to please, comply, and to fix in future posts.
My website is http://www.idaretoheal.com/. My books "I Dare to Heal with Compassionate Love", and "I Dare to Heal with Spiritual Power" can be purchased on the website. I'm available to counsel others on their condependent issues. Contact information is on my website. Please check out my other website if you need medical/medicare/medical coverage at http://www.healthplansinsandiego.com/.
Best
Joel V. BA, Education, BBA, Business Marketing, M.A. Psychology of Human Behavior
Friday, August 27, 2010
Scams On-Line!
Scams On-line!
My goal is to improve the wide world by sharing what I've learned about self-improvement, personal growth, over the past 43 years. It would be nice to earn a living from what I share with you. I have faith that I eventually will earn a living from my work because I'm tenacious and share as best as I can with others my insights, experiences, hope, faith.
I receive E-mails describing ways I can earn a living from a variety of recipients. I don't think it's appropriate to specifically name them. So, I won't. However, I can alert the wide world to some of the specifics regarding the E-mails. I like sunshine ie., I don't like cunning deception. I don't like when the scammers hurt and traumatize people.
For example: If and when the recording doesn't give specifics about their revolutionary system that will generate thousands of dollars. The speaker always will return with the theme of "making a lot of money', quick! For example, when the visuals include lots of detail of sums of money being earned. For example, when the speaker's tone is "glib", lacks animation. For example, when the speaker claims that you must be "quick to respond" and purchase this once in a life time opportunity. For example, when the speaker offers a fantastic discount if and when you don't act to purchase the product initially. For example, when the speak claims that he has earned thousands of dollars from his creation. For example, if and when his scam is created in a professional but very slick way. For example if and when he/she claims to be very, very, successful. For example, if and when he/she claims it's a no brainer, it's "easy". For example, if and when there is no, is no solid contact information with address, phone number, and clear refund policy. For example, if what is offered is in "limited" quantity. For example, if and when the speaker returns again and again in his pitch to "acting quickly to make, to make the purchase of the product. For example, if and when it is "initially" offered at a "reasonable" price that just, just cannot be passed up. For example, if and when it "sounds" too, too, good to be true, then it just might be "too, too, good to be true! For example, if and when I receive negative, invalidating put downs for writing this post. For example, if and when one is inwardly vulnerable to "neediness" and it reflects a "need" to earn a living to pay your bills. I hope these examples will help my readers to stay alert/aware of those who are professional scammers and will, "work on", "work cunningly", "work assured, your vulnerabilities to scam you.
Please check out my website at http://www.idaretoheal.com/ and purchase my books "I Dare to Heal with Compassionate Love", and "I Dare to Heal with Spiritual Power". I'm available for counseling on co-dependent issues here in San Diego. I'm also available to do presentations, for fee and expenses. Please also check out my http://www.healthplansinsandiego.com/. I'm an expert with Medical Coverage, Medicare Plans, Individual Health, and Small Group Coverage.
Best
Joel V. BA, Education, BBA Business Marketing, M.A. Psychology of Human Behavior.
a
My goal is to improve the wide world by sharing what I've learned about self-improvement, personal growth, over the past 43 years. It would be nice to earn a living from what I share with you. I have faith that I eventually will earn a living from my work because I'm tenacious and share as best as I can with others my insights, experiences, hope, faith.
I receive E-mails describing ways I can earn a living from a variety of recipients. I don't think it's appropriate to specifically name them. So, I won't. However, I can alert the wide world to some of the specifics regarding the E-mails. I like sunshine ie., I don't like cunning deception. I don't like when the scammers hurt and traumatize people.
For example: If and when the recording doesn't give specifics about their revolutionary system that will generate thousands of dollars. The speaker always will return with the theme of "making a lot of money', quick! For example, when the visuals include lots of detail of sums of money being earned. For example, when the speaker's tone is "glib", lacks animation. For example, when the speaker claims that you must be "quick to respond" and purchase this once in a life time opportunity. For example, when the speaker offers a fantastic discount if and when you don't act to purchase the product initially. For example, when the speak claims that he has earned thousands of dollars from his creation. For example, if and when his scam is created in a professional but very slick way. For example if and when he/she claims to be very, very, successful. For example, if and when he/she claims it's a no brainer, it's "easy". For example, if and when there is no, is no solid contact information with address, phone number, and clear refund policy. For example, if what is offered is in "limited" quantity. For example, if and when the speaker returns again and again in his pitch to "acting quickly to make, to make the purchase of the product. For example, if and when it is "initially" offered at a "reasonable" price that just, just cannot be passed up. For example, if and when it "sounds" too, too, good to be true, then it just might be "too, too, good to be true! For example, if and when I receive negative, invalidating put downs for writing this post. For example, if and when one is inwardly vulnerable to "neediness" and it reflects a "need" to earn a living to pay your bills. I hope these examples will help my readers to stay alert/aware of those who are professional scammers and will, "work on", "work cunningly", "work assured, your vulnerabilities to scam you.
Please check out my website at http://www.idaretoheal.com/ and purchase my books "I Dare to Heal with Compassionate Love", and "I Dare to Heal with Spiritual Power". I'm available for counseling on co-dependent issues here in San Diego. I'm also available to do presentations, for fee and expenses. Please also check out my http://www.healthplansinsandiego.com/. I'm an expert with Medical Coverage, Medicare Plans, Individual Health, and Small Group Coverage.
Best
Joel V. BA, Education, BBA Business Marketing, M.A. Psychology of Human Behavior.
a
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
The Pleasers, Compliers, Fixers
The Pleasers, Compliers, Fixers
There are times when I just cannot help but to write, write, write. If you have read any of my posts then you would understand that I'm addicted to writing. I'm sure as addictions go writing is a healthy and positive addiction, wouldn't you agree?
There are four main categories of co-dependency, controllers, compliers, those who are in denial, and low self-esteemers. I've written about controllers and now it's time for the pleasers, compliers, and fixers.
Compliance Patterns:
•
I compromise my own values and integrity to avoid rejection or others' anger.
•
I am very sensitive to how others are feeling and feel the same.
•
I am extremely loyal, remaining in harmful situations too long.
•
I value others' opinions and feelings more than my own and am afraid to express differing opinions and feelings of my own.
•
I put aside my own interests and hobbies in order to do what others want.
•
I accept sex when I want love.
copied from the Co-dependents Anonymous website
The above compliance, pleasers, fixers patterns are but the tip of the iceberg. Humankind "buy into" patterns of compliance because of a variety of reasons. Again, a human being can be "very needy" and complies, or is willing to please or strives to fix a situation or circumstance to "make it ok" and delusionary or illusionary make themselves ok?
It may just be a "normal" pattern of behavior that was learned in the family of origin or a pattern that a person was exposed to again, again, and again. They learned just to "accept" that it is "just" the way it "should" be or "suppose" to be. It may be a learned unconscious belief, value, or even a genetically coded human "trait". It may be a hurt or trauma that has it's basis that began because of fear of an authority/authoritarian figure. It may be the result of experiencing a "survival" lifestyle and therefore a pattern that came about because of necessity. There can be many, many, reasons. Whatever the reasons may be the pattern causes low-self esteem.
Some may be aware/alert to being a pleaser, complier, and fixer. Some may not even be conscious of it because they "Accept" it, the pattern as part of themselves or "Self-Evident"? Well it's a pattern that is "Self-Destructive" and the pleaser, complier, fixer suppresses his/her painful feelings reflective of their emotions, anger through rage, fear through terror, and sadness through grief. The feelings reflective of the emotions are suppressed and the "self" suffers. It's no fun!
The individual may experience anxiety and/or depression. Happiness and Self becomes elusive. The human being may sense that they are "lost". Life is not what it seems to be. Can you relate?
PLease check out my website at http://www.idaretoheal.com/, purchase my books, "I Dare to Heal with Compassionate Love", and "I Dare to Heal with Spiritual Power". I'm available to counsel others on their co-dependency issues. Donations to the website and made 0ut to Life's Breath Publications and Ministries are accepted for my posts and professional services. My contact info in on my website.
Best
Joel V BA, Education, BBA, Business Admin, M.A. Psychology of Human Behavior.
There are times when I just cannot help but to write, write, write. If you have read any of my posts then you would understand that I'm addicted to writing. I'm sure as addictions go writing is a healthy and positive addiction, wouldn't you agree?
There are four main categories of co-dependency, controllers, compliers, those who are in denial, and low self-esteemers. I've written about controllers and now it's time for the pleasers, compliers, and fixers.
Compliance Patterns:
•
I compromise my own values and integrity to avoid rejection or others' anger.
•
I am very sensitive to how others are feeling and feel the same.
•
I am extremely loyal, remaining in harmful situations too long.
•
I value others' opinions and feelings more than my own and am afraid to express differing opinions and feelings of my own.
•
I put aside my own interests and hobbies in order to do what others want.
•
I accept sex when I want love.
copied from the Co-dependents Anonymous website
The above compliance, pleasers, fixers patterns are but the tip of the iceberg. Humankind "buy into" patterns of compliance because of a variety of reasons. Again, a human being can be "very needy" and complies, or is willing to please or strives to fix a situation or circumstance to "make it ok" and delusionary or illusionary make themselves ok?
It may just be a "normal" pattern of behavior that was learned in the family of origin or a pattern that a person was exposed to again, again, and again. They learned just to "accept" that it is "just" the way it "should" be or "suppose" to be. It may be a learned unconscious belief, value, or even a genetically coded human "trait". It may be a hurt or trauma that has it's basis that began because of fear of an authority/authoritarian figure. It may be the result of experiencing a "survival" lifestyle and therefore a pattern that came about because of necessity. There can be many, many, reasons. Whatever the reasons may be the pattern causes low-self esteem.
Some may be aware/alert to being a pleaser, complier, and fixer. Some may not even be conscious of it because they "Accept" it, the pattern as part of themselves or "Self-Evident"? Well it's a pattern that is "Self-Destructive" and the pleaser, complier, fixer suppresses his/her painful feelings reflective of their emotions, anger through rage, fear through terror, and sadness through grief. The feelings reflective of the emotions are suppressed and the "self" suffers. It's no fun!
The individual may experience anxiety and/or depression. Happiness and Self becomes elusive. The human being may sense that they are "lost". Life is not what it seems to be. Can you relate?
PLease check out my website at http://www.idaretoheal.com/, purchase my books, "I Dare to Heal with Compassionate Love", and "I Dare to Heal with Spiritual Power". I'm available to counsel others on their co-dependency issues. Donations to the website and made 0ut to Life's Breath Publications and Ministries are accepted for my posts and professional services. My contact info in on my website.
Best
Joel V BA, Education, BBA, Business Admin, M.A. Psychology of Human Behavior.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Learning the Methods so one can Process!
Learning the Methods so one can Process
It's not enough to become aware of/alert to ones' issues. Often, in psycho-therapy one becomes aware of/alert to ones' issues. It's certainly an important step to become conscious of them. However, it's far, far from enough in resolving the emotional pain, and irrational/unhealthy behaviors.
It's great that one has had a will, willing (an intention), and the willingness (proactive/actiing on the intention) to become aware of/alert to ones' issues. It's yet another essential step to learn methods/processes to effectively/efficiently to "resolve" them. It can take a very proactive/ambition to thoroughly emotionally process, resolve, and integrate the self. It can very well take a lifetime even with the best of processes. It can also happen instantaneously?
The methods can vary. Please read my "Letter to Petra". The question I have is what methods work for you?
Yes, there is struggle/suffering. However, the struggle/suffering can be but momentary. If and when, if and when one has dynamic methods/processes that are effective/efficient then personal growth, upward trend, spiritual connection, greater self-connection is achieved within a moment.
There is hope. Fortunately nature provides that hope. Nature will bring, will bring methods/processes to an individual that resonates with them. So, please allow yourself to be open, be open to them. Please allow and permit yourself to surrender to what the universe is bringing to you, to you, to you. Strange isn't it! Nature wants humankind to be free of distress. It's just so!
Humankind and Spiritual love, compassion and spiritual power are most definitely some of those elements belonging to a variety of methods that facilitate/transform/transcend our processing of the feelings (the pain) reflective of our emotions that culminate in love, harmony, joy, grace, forgiveness, releasing resentments, peace, contentment, good will, charity, and freedom.
Please check out my website, www.idaretoheal.com and purchase my two books (purchase a bunch of them and please give them to many deserving people), "I Dare to Heal with Compassionate Love", and "I Dare to Heal with Spiritual Power". Check out my other website, www.healthplansinsandiego.com and buy some medical coverage. You can apply right on-line. Life's Breath Publication and Ministries is certainly open to donations (contact info on my website). I appreciate your charity support so I can continue posting to my blog, "I Dare to Heal".
Best
Joel V. BA, Education (California Credential), BBA, Business Education,
M.A., Psychology of Human Behavior
It's not enough to become aware of/alert to ones' issues. Often, in psycho-therapy one becomes aware of/alert to ones' issues. It's certainly an important step to become conscious of them. However, it's far, far from enough in resolving the emotional pain, and irrational/unhealthy behaviors.
It's great that one has had a will, willing (an intention), and the willingness (proactive/actiing on the intention) to become aware of/alert to ones' issues. It's yet another essential step to learn methods/processes to effectively/efficiently to "resolve" them. It can take a very proactive/ambition to thoroughly emotionally process, resolve, and integrate the self. It can very well take a lifetime even with the best of processes. It can also happen instantaneously?
The methods can vary. Please read my "Letter to Petra". The question I have is what methods work for you?
Yes, there is struggle/suffering. However, the struggle/suffering can be but momentary. If and when, if and when one has dynamic methods/processes that are effective/efficient then personal growth, upward trend, spiritual connection, greater self-connection is achieved within a moment.
There is hope. Fortunately nature provides that hope. Nature will bring, will bring methods/processes to an individual that resonates with them. So, please allow yourself to be open, be open to them. Please allow and permit yourself to surrender to what the universe is bringing to you, to you, to you. Strange isn't it! Nature wants humankind to be free of distress. It's just so!
Humankind and Spiritual love, compassion and spiritual power are most definitely some of those elements belonging to a variety of methods that facilitate/transform/transcend our processing of the feelings (the pain) reflective of our emotions that culminate in love, harmony, joy, grace, forgiveness, releasing resentments, peace, contentment, good will, charity, and freedom.
Please check out my website, www.idaretoheal.com and purchase my two books (purchase a bunch of them and please give them to many deserving people), "I Dare to Heal with Compassionate Love", and "I Dare to Heal with Spiritual Power". Check out my other website, www.healthplansinsandiego.com and buy some medical coverage. You can apply right on-line. Life's Breath Publication and Ministries is certainly open to donations (contact info on my website). I appreciate your charity support so I can continue posting to my blog, "I Dare to Heal".
Best
Joel V. BA, Education (California Credential), BBA, Business Education,
M.A., Psychology of Human Behavior
Friday, August 20, 2010
Unfulfilled Needs Continued!
Unfulfilled Needs Continued!
Please refer to my post about "unfulfilled frozen chronic needs". Well, there are three remaining unfulfilled needs that create pain for humankind. They are the unfulfilled chronic past, unfulfilled past, and present unfulfilled needs.
I break unfulfilled needs down into for distinct and very different entities. For the most part, we don't even take notice of any difference at all between the differences of unfulfilled needs. We don't even as a matter of fact think about the differiences. However, they are all very, very, different.
Most counselors, therapists, psychiatrists don't even consider the unique differences in the four categories of unfulfilled needs. I have, I've worked extensively with them and experienced all four. My research for the most part has been both non-verbal (different patterns of circular healing breathwork) and verbal in peer counseling sessions over the past 43 years.
The circular healing breathwork facilitates connection with different depths, degrees, dimensions, and facets of feelings reflective of emotions. The circular healing breathwork facilitates "access", a going-into, a connection with, a release, relinquishment, a letting go, and trasmitting the feelings reflective of the "pain" reflective of unfulfilled past and present needs out of the body by way of the manifestations of emotional release. In this way, I've been able to experience the unique differences of the four unfulfilled past and present needs.
When a senior experiences loneliness because of living alone; they may also experience a unfulfilled present need for attachment. The attachment to others is just not there. The pain of present unfulfilled need gradually accumulates and the senior becomes disconnected to parts of themselves. Sadness and depression develop and unfortuantely "suicide" is all to common among seniors. The "pain" of the present unfulfilled need reflective of the issue of loneliness causes "disconnect" to self. The senior experiences isolation. This situation may be true of anyone who experiences lonliness at any age.
I will explain unfulfilled past chronic needs and unfulfilled past needs in later posts.
Please check out my website, www.idaretoheal.com. Please purchase my books, "I Dare to Heal with Compassionate Love" and "I Dare to Heal with Spiritual Power". I'm available for counseling on co-dependence issues or I'm certainly open to donations to keep on posting this information. Please make your checks payable to Life's Breath Publications and Ministries. My contact information is on my website.
Best
Joel V. BA, Education, BBA, Business Admin. M.A., Psychology of Human Behavior
Please refer to my post about "unfulfilled frozen chronic needs". Well, there are three remaining unfulfilled needs that create pain for humankind. They are the unfulfilled chronic past, unfulfilled past, and present unfulfilled needs.
I break unfulfilled needs down into for distinct and very different entities. For the most part, we don't even take notice of any difference at all between the differences of unfulfilled needs. We don't even as a matter of fact think about the differiences. However, they are all very, very, different.
Most counselors, therapists, psychiatrists don't even consider the unique differences in the four categories of unfulfilled needs. I have, I've worked extensively with them and experienced all four. My research for the most part has been both non-verbal (different patterns of circular healing breathwork) and verbal in peer counseling sessions over the past 43 years.
The circular healing breathwork facilitates connection with different depths, degrees, dimensions, and facets of feelings reflective of emotions. The circular healing breathwork facilitates "access", a going-into, a connection with, a release, relinquishment, a letting go, and trasmitting the feelings reflective of the "pain" reflective of unfulfilled past and present needs out of the body by way of the manifestations of emotional release. In this way, I've been able to experience the unique differences of the four unfulfilled past and present needs.
When a senior experiences loneliness because of living alone; they may also experience a unfulfilled present need for attachment. The attachment to others is just not there. The pain of present unfulfilled need gradually accumulates and the senior becomes disconnected to parts of themselves. Sadness and depression develop and unfortuantely "suicide" is all to common among seniors. The "pain" of the present unfulfilled need reflective of the issue of loneliness causes "disconnect" to self. The senior experiences isolation. This situation may be true of anyone who experiences lonliness at any age.
I will explain unfulfilled past chronic needs and unfulfilled past needs in later posts.
Please check out my website, www.idaretoheal.com. Please purchase my books, "I Dare to Heal with Compassionate Love" and "I Dare to Heal with Spiritual Power". I'm available for counseling on co-dependence issues or I'm certainly open to donations to keep on posting this information. Please make your checks payable to Life's Breath Publications and Ministries. My contact information is on my website.
Best
Joel V. BA, Education, BBA, Business Admin. M.A., Psychology of Human Behavior
Thursday, August 19, 2010
"Jealousy" and Co-dependence
"Jealousy" and Co-dependence
"Neediness" coming from unfulfilled needs is commonly the cause or in humanistic psychological terms the trigger that causes jealousy. It's not readily apparent to individuals who are triggered.
However, Jealousy can be caused by other reasons as well. Human Nature is also a common cause. Sibling rivelry is also a cause. When the jealousy goes to an "emotional" extreme. When the thoughts are on-going and "compulsive", "obsessive", cause sleepless nights, anxiety, depression. It's then the "jealousy" can be conceived of as a "co-dependent" pattern.
We may suppress the feelings. We may be in denial of the feelings and the "neediness" coming from unfulfilled needs, not enough loving attention from family of origin for example. Our lower self-esteem may not be clear, apparent. However, it's there! The result may be in our unhealthy behavior, our actions, what we say, our body language. The power of the "neediness" takes charge of us. We are not in charge of "it".
The solution is self-love. It's feeling our pain. It's releasing, relinquishing, letting go of and trasmitting our pain reflective of our neediness out, out of our body. Doing it again, again, and again. It's essential to work emotionally. Cognitive is good. However, not, not, not good enough.
As we release, relinquish, let go, transmit it out of our bodies our compulsive, obsessive jealousy thoughts dissipate. We just feel better!
Please visit my website, www.idaretoheal.com, purchase my books (Barnes & Noble). I'm available for couseling on co-dependent issues. My contact info is on my website. Please visit my www.healthplansinsandiego.com and purchase some medical insurance. You can apply right on-line. Please check out my other insurance as well.
Best
Joel V. BA, Education, BBA, Business Admin, M.A. Psychology of Human Behavior.
"Neediness" coming from unfulfilled needs is commonly the cause or in humanistic psychological terms the trigger that causes jealousy. It's not readily apparent to individuals who are triggered.
However, Jealousy can be caused by other reasons as well. Human Nature is also a common cause. Sibling rivelry is also a cause. When the jealousy goes to an "emotional" extreme. When the thoughts are on-going and "compulsive", "obsessive", cause sleepless nights, anxiety, depression. It's then the "jealousy" can be conceived of as a "co-dependent" pattern.
We may suppress the feelings. We may be in denial of the feelings and the "neediness" coming from unfulfilled needs, not enough loving attention from family of origin for example. Our lower self-esteem may not be clear, apparent. However, it's there! The result may be in our unhealthy behavior, our actions, what we say, our body language. The power of the "neediness" takes charge of us. We are not in charge of "it".
The solution is self-love. It's feeling our pain. It's releasing, relinquishing, letting go of and trasmitting our pain reflective of our neediness out, out of our body. Doing it again, again, and again. It's essential to work emotionally. Cognitive is good. However, not, not, not good enough.
As we release, relinquish, let go, transmit it out of our bodies our compulsive, obsessive jealousy thoughts dissipate. We just feel better!
Please visit my website, www.idaretoheal.com, purchase my books (Barnes & Noble). I'm available for couseling on co-dependent issues. My contact info is on my website. Please visit my www.healthplansinsandiego.com and purchase some medical insurance. You can apply right on-line. Please check out my other insurance as well.
Best
Joel V. BA, Education, BBA, Business Admin, M.A. Psychology of Human Behavior.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
My Motivation to Write this Blog!
My Motivation to Write this Blog!
I've heard it said that "it's difficult to write". I'm motivated to write because of my ability to process effectively and efficiently feelings reflective of emotions. Nature contributes to the emergence or rebirth of a human being from distress when a human being addresses their issues. It's if and when a human being recognizes his/her shortcomings, unhealthy behaviors, develops the alertness/awareness and has the will, willing (intention), and willingness (is proactive) to transform/transcend them that change can occur. The methods a human being uses to address their issues are only significant if and when the methods are effective/efficient.
I wrote about a variety of methods in the post "A Letter to Petra". However, the number of methods to address unhealthy behaviors are in multitude. It depends upon what resonates with the person.
The emotions motivates me to express myself. The processing of feelings become the catlysts for the written word. When there is something that I think and feel is important to write about, I go ahead and express it in this blog.
Please check out my website at www.idaretoheal.com and please purchase my books, "I Dare to Heal with Compassionate Love", and "I Dare to Heal with Spiritual Power". I'm available for counseling on co-dependence issues. Also, check out my brokerage website. I'm an expert with Medical Insurance at www.healthplansinsandiego.com.
Best
Joel V. BA Education, BBA, Business Admin. M.A Psychology Human behavior
I've heard it said that "it's difficult to write". I'm motivated to write because of my ability to process effectively and efficiently feelings reflective of emotions. Nature contributes to the emergence or rebirth of a human being from distress when a human being addresses their issues. It's if and when a human being recognizes his/her shortcomings, unhealthy behaviors, develops the alertness/awareness and has the will, willing (intention), and willingness (is proactive) to transform/transcend them that change can occur. The methods a human being uses to address their issues are only significant if and when the methods are effective/efficient.
I wrote about a variety of methods in the post "A Letter to Petra". However, the number of methods to address unhealthy behaviors are in multitude. It depends upon what resonates with the person.
The emotions motivates me to express myself. The processing of feelings become the catlysts for the written word. When there is something that I think and feel is important to write about, I go ahead and express it in this blog.
Please check out my website at www.idaretoheal.com and please purchase my books, "I Dare to Heal with Compassionate Love", and "I Dare to Heal with Spiritual Power". I'm available for counseling on co-dependence issues. Also, check out my brokerage website. I'm an expert with Medical Insurance at www.healthplansinsandiego.com.
Best
Joel V. BA Education, BBA, Business Admin. M.A Psychology Human behavior
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Co-dependence, From Russia with Love
"Co-dependence", From Russia with Love
A Russian Religious Science (Ernest Holms) Minister told this joke in English this morning at the Universal Spirit Center, San Diego, California.
A newlywed Russian female complained to her friend that her new husband always states regardless of what or how she does things to check with his Mom on how to get it done (a co-dependence category and patterns).
The Russian female's friend told her to get dressed in black hose, high heel black shoes, a black laced cut short sexy dress and black laced V neck blouse. The friend instructed her to wait at the entrance of their home when her spouse arrived at 5:00p.m.
The husband arrived home and upon seeing his newlywed wife in the door way stated in terror and great sadness........"Well, you are all dressed in black; did my Mom just past away this afternoon?
Please check out my website at www.idaretoheal.com, and purchase my books, "I Dare to Heal with Compassionate Love", and "I Dare to Heal with Spiritual Power". I'm available for counseling on co-dependent issues, my contact info is on the website. Also, please check out my www.healthplansinsandiego.com for medical and other insurance coverage.
You can apply write on-line for medical coverage!
Best
Joel V. BA, Education BBA, Business Admin. M.A. Psychology of Human Behavior.
A Russian Religious Science (Ernest Holms) Minister told this joke in English this morning at the Universal Spirit Center, San Diego, California.
A newlywed Russian female complained to her friend that her new husband always states regardless of what or how she does things to check with his Mom on how to get it done (a co-dependence category and patterns).
The Russian female's friend told her to get dressed in black hose, high heel black shoes, a black laced cut short sexy dress and black laced V neck blouse. The friend instructed her to wait at the entrance of their home when her spouse arrived at 5:00p.m.
The husband arrived home and upon seeing his newlywed wife in the door way stated in terror and great sadness........"Well, you are all dressed in black; did my Mom just past away this afternoon?
Please check out my website at www.idaretoheal.com, and purchase my books, "I Dare to Heal with Compassionate Love", and "I Dare to Heal with Spiritual Power". I'm available for counseling on co-dependent issues, my contact info is on the website. Also, please check out my www.healthplansinsandiego.com for medical and other insurance coverage.
You can apply write on-line for medical coverage!
Best
Joel V. BA, Education BBA, Business Admin. M.A. Psychology of Human Behavior.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
The Support Group
The Support Group
When I attended the graduate school of psychology I disagreed with the "traditional" way group therapy was conducted. The instructor was unhappy with the way I conducted the group. I disagreed with the instructor and with the traditional methods of group therapy.
I became the catlyst today for others in the group to begin the processing of feelings reflective of their painful emotions. As I see it, one of the keys to support group unity is to facilitate enough trust for participants so that a theme can be effectively/compassionately addressed. It is where feelings reflective of emotional energy can be addressed, accessed, gone into, and released, relinquished, let go of, and trasmitted out into a shared supportive communal experience.
Today it was unfulfilled human past needs reflective of painful emotional "neediness". Several participants shared how their "neediness" reflected their unfulfilled present and past needs. As we listened to each others stories regarding this theme the tears began to flow unemcumbered and authentically. It was very emotionally moving, uplifting and amazing. The unity of the group of fifteen was sealed by an emotional bond.
Please check out my website at www.idaretoheal.com and I encourage all of you to purchase my books, "I Dare to Heal with Compassionate Love", and "I Dare to Heal with Spiritual Power". I'm available for counseling others on co-dependency issues. Need Medical Insurance for individual, medicare, small group of dental? Please check out my website www.healthplansinsandiego.com. My contact info is located on my websites.
Best
Joel V. BA, Education, BBA Business Admin, M.A. Psychology of Human Behavior.
When I attended the graduate school of psychology I disagreed with the "traditional" way group therapy was conducted. The instructor was unhappy with the way I conducted the group. I disagreed with the instructor and with the traditional methods of group therapy.
I became the catlyst today for others in the group to begin the processing of feelings reflective of their painful emotions. As I see it, one of the keys to support group unity is to facilitate enough trust for participants so that a theme can be effectively/compassionately addressed. It is where feelings reflective of emotional energy can be addressed, accessed, gone into, and released, relinquished, let go of, and trasmitted out into a shared supportive communal experience.
Today it was unfulfilled human past needs reflective of painful emotional "neediness". Several participants shared how their "neediness" reflected their unfulfilled present and past needs. As we listened to each others stories regarding this theme the tears began to flow unemcumbered and authentically. It was very emotionally moving, uplifting and amazing. The unity of the group of fifteen was sealed by an emotional bond.
Please check out my website at www.idaretoheal.com and I encourage all of you to purchase my books, "I Dare to Heal with Compassionate Love", and "I Dare to Heal with Spiritual Power". I'm available for counseling others on co-dependency issues. Need Medical Insurance for individual, medicare, small group of dental? Please check out my website www.healthplansinsandiego.com. My contact info is located on my websites.
Best
Joel V. BA, Education, BBA Business Admin, M.A. Psychology of Human Behavior.
Friday, August 13, 2010
"Unfulfilled Frozen Chronic Needs"
"Unfulfilled Frozen Chronic Needs"
There are four kinds of Unfulfilled Needs that are at the root of depression and or anxiety. Often, the unfulfilled needs occur because one has not "consistently" experienced the fulfillment of basic emotional needs for loving care at different development stages from birth through the formative years and loving attention from the formative years, adolescents, and adulthood.
Unfulfilled Needs can also occur because of experiences of physical and emotional abuse, abandonment, separation, betrayal.
Unfulfilled Frozen Chronic Past Needs are the most devastating of all. Birth Trauma is the best example. A human being experiencing rage during the formative years is yet another example.
Unfulfilled Frozen Chronic Past Needs is the toughest of the feelings reflective of the painful emotions to access and resolve. If left unresolved it can cause endless deep depression and anxiety lifelong. Unfulfilled "Frozen" Chronic Past Needs reflect chronic distress on going, all, all the time. It reflects high anxiety and deep depression. It's misery personified. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is yet another example.
Primal Sound is used to access, go into, connect with, and release relinquish, let go, and transmit the pain out of the body again, again, and again. Primal Sound and Primordial Sound are the only two sounds that have the power to access and go through the "frozen" disconnect of body, mind, and spirit. The "Sounds" learned through the practice of different circular breaths create "The Connection" with/within the feelings reflective of the emotions. The "Sounds" past through the "Frozen" stuck emotional walls and are catlysts that facilitate access to our feelings. It is then that we can release, relinquish, let go, and transmit painful feelings out of the body by way of the myriad manifestations of emotional release. We can gradually, gradually, gradually over time with consistency experience human bliss, freedom, and contentment. Anixiety and Depression gradually, gradually, dissipate. The use of the inhibitors end as well. Think, freedom from medications!
There are other methods such as EFT, the tapping and EMDR, the eye movements, hypnosis that may also be used. However, I know that primal sound and primordial sound "definitely" resolve the issue of the unfulfilled "frozen" chronic needs. I'm skeptical if other methods definitely resolve it. We are using natural methods with primal sound, and the manifestations of emotional release. Where is the other methods are indirect and usually are not as, as effective.
Please check out my website, http://www.idaretoheal.com/ and purchase my books "I Dare to Heal with Compassionate Love, and "I Dare to Heal with Spiritual Power". I'm available for counseling on co-dependency issues. Contact info located on my website. I'm an expert with health insurance. Please go to http://www.healthplansinsandiego.com/.
Best
Joel V BA Education, BBA Business Marketing, M.A. Psychology of Human Behavior
There are four kinds of Unfulfilled Needs that are at the root of depression and or anxiety. Often, the unfulfilled needs occur because one has not "consistently" experienced the fulfillment of basic emotional needs for loving care at different development stages from birth through the formative years and loving attention from the formative years, adolescents, and adulthood.
Unfulfilled Needs can also occur because of experiences of physical and emotional abuse, abandonment, separation, betrayal.
Unfulfilled Frozen Chronic Past Needs are the most devastating of all. Birth Trauma is the best example. A human being experiencing rage during the formative years is yet another example.
Unfulfilled Frozen Chronic Past Needs is the toughest of the feelings reflective of the painful emotions to access and resolve. If left unresolved it can cause endless deep depression and anxiety lifelong. Unfulfilled "Frozen" Chronic Past Needs reflect chronic distress on going, all, all the time. It reflects high anxiety and deep depression. It's misery personified. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is yet another example.
Primal Sound is used to access, go into, connect with, and release relinquish, let go, and transmit the pain out of the body again, again, and again. Primal Sound and Primordial Sound are the only two sounds that have the power to access and go through the "frozen" disconnect of body, mind, and spirit. The "Sounds" learned through the practice of different circular breaths create "The Connection" with/within the feelings reflective of the emotions. The "Sounds" past through the "Frozen" stuck emotional walls and are catlysts that facilitate access to our feelings. It is then that we can release, relinquish, let go, and transmit painful feelings out of the body by way of the myriad manifestations of emotional release. We can gradually, gradually, gradually over time with consistency experience human bliss, freedom, and contentment. Anixiety and Depression gradually, gradually, dissipate. The use of the inhibitors end as well. Think, freedom from medications!
There are other methods such as EFT, the tapping and EMDR, the eye movements, hypnosis that may also be used. However, I know that primal sound and primordial sound "definitely" resolve the issue of the unfulfilled "frozen" chronic needs. I'm skeptical if other methods definitely resolve it. We are using natural methods with primal sound, and the manifestations of emotional release. Where is the other methods are indirect and usually are not as, as effective.
Please check out my website, http://www.idaretoheal.com/ and purchase my books "I Dare to Heal with Compassionate Love, and "I Dare to Heal with Spiritual Power". I'm available for counseling on co-dependency issues. Contact info located on my website. I'm an expert with health insurance. Please go to http://www.healthplansinsandiego.com/.
Best
Joel V BA Education, BBA Business Marketing, M.A. Psychology of Human Behavior
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Rising of the Phoenix
Rising of the Phoenix
The end of co-dependency means a dissipation of the past unfulfilled past frozen chronic needs, past unfulfilled chronic needs, unfulfilled past needs, and present unfulfilled needs. It's turning over, a release, a relinquishing, a letting go, and transmitting the pain of our unfullfilled needs over to our higher power. It means the access of our pain reflective of our unfulfilled needs and a turning over again, and again, again. It just "feels" like we are going to die. I'll repeat that again, it just "feels" like we are going to die. There is a death taking place of a "unhealthy"part of ourselves. Actually it's essentially the "Rising of our Phoenix".
As we release our pain reflective of our unfulfilled needs, our denial, our controlling, our complying (pleasing) behaviors begin to dissipate. Our low self-esteem begins to "magically" improve. We take that "quantum" leap forward.
The use of the manifestations of emotional release and primal sound accelerates our emergence from the painful unfulfilled past needs. Our vibration dramatically changes that we express verbally, and non-verbally (in our body language). We learn to apply ourselves to our task of healing. We gradually, gradually have a "healthy" impact on others, on our actions, in our behaviors towards others in the wide world. We experience our "rebirth", "awakening", "consciousness rising" unfolding of an authentic "self".
Is this a dream, a hope, a wish? No, we become an expression of an authentic viable human being.
Please check out my website at http://www.idaretoheal.com/ and please purchase my books, "I Dare to Heal with Compassionate Love", and "I Dare to Heal with Spiritual Power".
Best
Joel V.
BA, Education, BBA, Business Admin, M.A., Psychology of Human Behavior
The end of co-dependency means a dissipation of the past unfulfilled past frozen chronic needs, past unfulfilled chronic needs, unfulfilled past needs, and present unfulfilled needs. It's turning over, a release, a relinquishing, a letting go, and transmitting the pain of our unfullfilled needs over to our higher power. It means the access of our pain reflective of our unfulfilled needs and a turning over again, and again, again. It just "feels" like we are going to die. I'll repeat that again, it just "feels" like we are going to die. There is a death taking place of a "unhealthy"part of ourselves. Actually it's essentially the "Rising of our Phoenix".
As we release our pain reflective of our unfulfilled needs, our denial, our controlling, our complying (pleasing) behaviors begin to dissipate. Our low self-esteem begins to "magically" improve. We take that "quantum" leap forward.
The use of the manifestations of emotional release and primal sound accelerates our emergence from the painful unfulfilled past needs. Our vibration dramatically changes that we express verbally, and non-verbally (in our body language). We learn to apply ourselves to our task of healing. We gradually, gradually have a "healthy" impact on others, on our actions, in our behaviors towards others in the wide world. We experience our "rebirth", "awakening", "consciousness rising" unfolding of an authentic "self".
Is this a dream, a hope, a wish? No, we become an expression of an authentic viable human being.
Please check out my website at http://www.idaretoheal.com/ and please purchase my books, "I Dare to Heal with Compassionate Love", and "I Dare to Heal with Spiritual Power".
Best
Joel V.
BA, Education, BBA, Business Admin, M.A., Psychology of Human Behavior
Dysfunctional Family of Origin and Repression
Dysfunctional Family of Origin and Repression
I attend many CODA (co-dependency anonymous) anonymous meetings and the pattern of "neediness" as it reflects the defense of "repression" among many defenses rises to the emotional surface again, and again, and again.
My psychology book defines "repression" as blocking a wish or desire from conscious expression. What indirectly is shared at many meetings is filling a void, an empty emotional space, a so-called black emotional hole, an unconscious past need, frozen, chronic, past, or even present in the form of heartbreaking "neediness". The expression from participants most of the time is expressed in an indirect way.
For example, my family of origin was not emotionally "there" for me. We experinced a lot of fighting and screaming in our family. Addictions were present in our family. There was physical abuse in our family.
Whatever the story expressed "neediness" resulting from unfulfilled needs surfaces.
Of course, receiving present time love, compassionate self-love, giving compassionate inner self-love to oneself is the great contradiction to our "neediness". Upon contradiction, the releasing, relinquishing, letting go, and trasmitting the pain or transcending the pain out of the body is the natural outcome and result.
If and when we become emotional stuck then applying ourselves, committing ourselves to methods that resonate and work for ourselves is required.
Please check out my website at www.idaretoheal.com and purchase my books, "I Dare to Heal with Compassionate Love", and "I Dare to Heal with Spiritual Power". They're available at Barnes & Noble Booksellers, Christian Book Stores, Borders as well. I'm available for counseling on co-dependency issues. My contact info is on my website.
Best
Joel V.
BA, Education, BBA Business Admin, M.A. Psychology of Human Behavior
I attend many CODA (co-dependency anonymous) anonymous meetings and the pattern of "neediness" as it reflects the defense of "repression" among many defenses rises to the emotional surface again, and again, and again.
My psychology book defines "repression" as blocking a wish or desire from conscious expression. What indirectly is shared at many meetings is filling a void, an empty emotional space, a so-called black emotional hole, an unconscious past need, frozen, chronic, past, or even present in the form of heartbreaking "neediness". The expression from participants most of the time is expressed in an indirect way.
For example, my family of origin was not emotionally "there" for me. We experinced a lot of fighting and screaming in our family. Addictions were present in our family. There was physical abuse in our family.
Whatever the story expressed "neediness" resulting from unfulfilled needs surfaces.
Of course, receiving present time love, compassionate self-love, giving compassionate inner self-love to oneself is the great contradiction to our "neediness". Upon contradiction, the releasing, relinquishing, letting go, and trasmitting the pain or transcending the pain out of the body is the natural outcome and result.
If and when we become emotional stuck then applying ourselves, committing ourselves to methods that resonate and work for ourselves is required.
Please check out my website at www.idaretoheal.com and purchase my books, "I Dare to Heal with Compassionate Love", and "I Dare to Heal with Spiritual Power". They're available at Barnes & Noble Booksellers, Christian Book Stores, Borders as well. I'm available for counseling on co-dependency issues. My contact info is on my website.
Best
Joel V.
BA, Education, BBA Business Admin, M.A. Psychology of Human Behavior
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
"Best Practices" in Psycho-Therapy
"Best Practices" in Psycho-Therapy
I received a comment that my suggestions in relationship counseling, in individual psycho-therapy have not yet materialized into "Best Practices" in psycho-therapy. I think initially so-called "Best Practices" are useful in both relationship couseling and in individual psycho-therpy.
Most psycho-therapists "listen" and will make comments based upon what is shared by clients. EMDR or eye movement desenitization and reprocessing is an established method for addressing trauma or post traumatic stress disorder. The results of psycho-therapy is mixed.
However, there is a dimension, a passage that a patient can make into learning to feel their feelings and learning to "trust" the manifestations of emotional release and primal sound. The manifestaions of emotional release include animated laughter, tearing, sobbing, elongated yawning, connecting with feelings of anger and expressing them in a variety of healthy ways, hot, cold sweats, chatterning, shaking, active kidneys, and it's under my skin (scratching), and I've just got to get it out. Once the feelings begin to be released it's then a continuous on-going release must occur (again, again, again, again). Have you ever had a good, good, good, emptying cry? Gee what a relief!
The use of primal sound is not emotional release. It's sound used to access the feelings (however deep, however emotional "stuck" one is) to begin the release, relinquishment, letting go, and transmitting the dissonant energies out of your body.
Once a person, client, patient, has "arrived" at trusting themselves to feel their feelings regardless of the depth, degree, facets, and dimensions of the emotional, physical, and the pain of unfulfilled needs, it is then a client has experienced emotional freedom, and connection with a universal spirit. My experience is that "best practices" are those practices that resonate with an individual temperament, personality as it reflects their developmental, biological, experiences, genetic code, and environment.
Please check out my website at www.idaretoheal.com and purchase my books, "I Dare to Heal with Compassionate Love", and "I Dare to Heal with Spiritual Power". I'm available for counseling on co-dependent issues. My contact info is on my website.
Best
Joel V. BA, Education, BBA, Business Marketing, M.A., Psychology, Human Behavior.
I received a comment that my suggestions in relationship counseling, in individual psycho-therapy have not yet materialized into "Best Practices" in psycho-therapy. I think initially so-called "Best Practices" are useful in both relationship couseling and in individual psycho-therpy.
Most psycho-therapists "listen" and will make comments based upon what is shared by clients. EMDR or eye movement desenitization and reprocessing is an established method for addressing trauma or post traumatic stress disorder. The results of psycho-therapy is mixed.
However, there is a dimension, a passage that a patient can make into learning to feel their feelings and learning to "trust" the manifestations of emotional release and primal sound. The manifestaions of emotional release include animated laughter, tearing, sobbing, elongated yawning, connecting with feelings of anger and expressing them in a variety of healthy ways, hot, cold sweats, chatterning, shaking, active kidneys, and it's under my skin (scratching), and I've just got to get it out. Once the feelings begin to be released it's then a continuous on-going release must occur (again, again, again, again). Have you ever had a good, good, good, emptying cry? Gee what a relief!
The use of primal sound is not emotional release. It's sound used to access the feelings (however deep, however emotional "stuck" one is) to begin the release, relinquishment, letting go, and transmitting the dissonant energies out of your body.
Once a person, client, patient, has "arrived" at trusting themselves to feel their feelings regardless of the depth, degree, facets, and dimensions of the emotional, physical, and the pain of unfulfilled needs, it is then a client has experienced emotional freedom, and connection with a universal spirit. My experience is that "best practices" are those practices that resonate with an individual temperament, personality as it reflects their developmental, biological, experiences, genetic code, and environment.
Please check out my website at www.idaretoheal.com and purchase my books, "I Dare to Heal with Compassionate Love", and "I Dare to Heal with Spiritual Power". I'm available for counseling on co-dependent issues. My contact info is on my website.
Best
Joel V. BA, Education, BBA, Business Marketing, M.A., Psychology, Human Behavior.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Controllers - Learning to Assert Your Voice -
Some other patterns of "controllers" include, having the belief that "others" cannot take care of themselves. A controller may have the belief that "others" are helpless and don't have the strength, physically, mentally, emotionally to help themselves. There certainly is a difference in the cliche providing a fishing pole so people can fish, and fishing "for" the person, catching the fish, and preparing it as food for them.
The person who provides the fishing pole, fishes, catches the fish, and prepares it for the "other" person can be said to be most likely in many cases to be controlling.
Another pattern of "controllers" is to have sex with someone to gain the "others" approval and acceptance. Insead, of having a sensual and sexually relationship with them because of "feelings" reflective of the emotion of love. There are many people who are "needy" that satisfy this category.
One way of contradicting controllers is go beyond, transcend, transform, your fear and assert your voice, speak up. Again, "fear" is the usually obstacle in these circumstances and situations. Compliers or pleasers will experience "fear" which prevents them from expressing their "needs", feelings, and emotions. When we do not express or assert our voice, it is then that our self-esteem just may be impacted negatively.
We must have the will, be willing (the intention), and the willingness (taking action), to process, to address, access, connect with, go into, (or transcend), release, relinquish, let go of, and transmit the "feelings" reflective of the emotion of fear from terror out of our body. I speak about many ways to accomplish this in my books. There are many ways to accomplish this task whatever the degree, depth, facets, and dimensions of the intensity of feelings reflective of the range of fear of emotion might be.
When we assert our voice and contradict "control", it's important not to have any expectations, outcomes, or results. If and when we do have expectations, outcomes, or results, it then that we become to the controllers. "Controllers" don't always say "I'm Sorry". They don't always apologize for their behaviors. The don't alway take responsibility for their issue. The key is to find the strength to stand up for oneself and learn to assert your voice and ask, request for amends. The result for you is better self-esteem.
Please check out my website, http://www.idaretoheal.com/, purchase my books, "I Dare to Heal with Compassionate Love", and "I Dare to Heal with Spiritual Power (can be ordered at Barnes & Noble, Christian Book Stores, Borders,).
Best
Joel V. BA, Education, BBA, Business Admin. M.A. Psychology of Human Behavior
Some other patterns of "controllers" include, having the belief that "others" cannot take care of themselves. A controller may have the belief that "others" are helpless and don't have the strength, physically, mentally, emotionally to help themselves. There certainly is a difference in the cliche providing a fishing pole so people can fish, and fishing "for" the person, catching the fish, and preparing it as food for them.
The person who provides the fishing pole, fishes, catches the fish, and prepares it for the "other" person can be said to be most likely in many cases to be controlling.
Another pattern of "controllers" is to have sex with someone to gain the "others" approval and acceptance. Insead, of having a sensual and sexually relationship with them because of "feelings" reflective of the emotion of love. There are many people who are "needy" that satisfy this category.
One way of contradicting controllers is go beyond, transcend, transform, your fear and assert your voice, speak up. Again, "fear" is the usually obstacle in these circumstances and situations. Compliers or pleasers will experience "fear" which prevents them from expressing their "needs", feelings, and emotions. When we do not express or assert our voice, it is then that our self-esteem just may be impacted negatively.
We must have the will, be willing (the intention), and the willingness (taking action), to process, to address, access, connect with, go into, (or transcend), release, relinquish, let go of, and transmit the "feelings" reflective of the emotion of fear from terror out of our body. I speak about many ways to accomplish this in my books. There are many ways to accomplish this task whatever the degree, depth, facets, and dimensions of the intensity of feelings reflective of the range of fear of emotion might be.
When we assert our voice and contradict "control", it's important not to have any expectations, outcomes, or results. If and when we do have expectations, outcomes, or results, it then that we become to the controllers. "Controllers" don't always say "I'm Sorry". They don't always apologize for their behaviors. The don't alway take responsibility for their issue. The key is to find the strength to stand up for oneself and learn to assert your voice and ask, request for amends. The result for you is better self-esteem.
Please check out my website, http://www.idaretoheal.com/, purchase my books, "I Dare to Heal with Compassionate Love", and "I Dare to Heal with Spiritual Power (can be ordered at Barnes & Noble, Christian Book Stores, Borders,).
Best
Joel V. BA, Education, BBA, Business Admin. M.A. Psychology of Human Behavior
Friday, August 6, 2010
Controllers - Three -
The addressing of the co-dependent manipulations, patterns, as it reflects the category of "Control" is the chief perpetuator of the other categories of co-dependence, denial, compliance, and low self-esteem.
Ideology is yet another form/example of control. How often does ideology for example the present ideologies that exist resulting in the destruction of the World Trade Center in New York City or the Wars in Iraq and Afghanistan?
The ideology often can create the intense feelings as it reflects the emotions of anger through rage, fear through terror, and sadness through grief. Again, the destruction of the World Trade Center in September of 2001 created just such intensities of emotion within many peoples. It created the emotions within those who hold the ideology and those families victimized and victims who do not hold the ideology.
Control is deceptive and leanring the facts contradict the dark emotions and the lack of reality. Next week is the 75th celebration in the United States of the establishment of Social Security. Social Security has helped millions of American Citizens and especially children. There are those who describe themselves as libertarians who support the end of the Social Security. Those who hold the ideology to end Social Security under the umbrella of the intensity of feelings as it reflects the emotion from fear through terror claim that Social Security is going broke. This claim perpetuated by ideology and the emotional range from fear through terror is absoultely wrong. When the "facts" are known Social Security is in "fact" will not go broke. Again, the "emotion" of fear is perpetuated.
Please check out my website, www.idaretoheal.com and please purchase my books, "I Dare to Heal with Compassionate Love", and "I Dare to Heal with Spiritual Power". Please check out the video "animated laughter with feelings". The video is an example of only one of the manifestations of emotional release. It's an example of a method of accessing, connecting with feelings reflective of range of emotions and releasing, relinquishing, letting go and trasmitting the energies out of your body. Please have an open mind when viewing the video and if and when the method moves you, please go ahead and try it.
Best
Joel V. BA, Eduction, BBA Business Marketing, M.A. Psychology of Human Behavior
The addressing of the co-dependent manipulations, patterns, as it reflects the category of "Control" is the chief perpetuator of the other categories of co-dependence, denial, compliance, and low self-esteem.
Ideology is yet another form/example of control. How often does ideology for example the present ideologies that exist resulting in the destruction of the World Trade Center in New York City or the Wars in Iraq and Afghanistan?
The ideology often can create the intense feelings as it reflects the emotions of anger through rage, fear through terror, and sadness through grief. Again, the destruction of the World Trade Center in September of 2001 created just such intensities of emotion within many peoples. It created the emotions within those who hold the ideology and those families victimized and victims who do not hold the ideology.
Control is deceptive and leanring the facts contradict the dark emotions and the lack of reality. Next week is the 75th celebration in the United States of the establishment of Social Security. Social Security has helped millions of American Citizens and especially children. There are those who describe themselves as libertarians who support the end of the Social Security. Those who hold the ideology to end Social Security under the umbrella of the intensity of feelings as it reflects the emotion from fear through terror claim that Social Security is going broke. This claim perpetuated by ideology and the emotional range from fear through terror is absoultely wrong. When the "facts" are known Social Security is in "fact" will not go broke. Again, the "emotion" of fear is perpetuated.
Please check out my website, www.idaretoheal.com and please purchase my books, "I Dare to Heal with Compassionate Love", and "I Dare to Heal with Spiritual Power". Please check out the video "animated laughter with feelings". The video is an example of only one of the manifestations of emotional release. It's an example of a method of accessing, connecting with feelings reflective of range of emotions and releasing, relinquishing, letting go and trasmitting the energies out of your body. Please have an open mind when viewing the video and if and when the method moves you, please go ahead and try it.
Best
Joel V. BA, Eduction, BBA Business Marketing, M.A. Psychology of Human Behavior
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Controllers - Two
The four categories of co-dependence are those who harbor patterns of controll over others, those who comply with those who control, those who are in denial, and finally those who have low self-esteem.
Those who have patterns of control are usually deceptive in their behaviors. The person who harbors control can be a family member, an employer, a friend, an associate on the job, or a public governmental entity. Can you think of someone in your environment who fits the "controller" description?
Sometimes, it's clear and evident by their words, body language, and actions. Sometimes, it's very unclear and perhaps their words are glib. One example is the person who has a controlling behavior lacks "feelings" underlying their words.
Another example is the person who harbors control, when challenged, will rage in a vicious, paralyzing way. This type of person may crave unrelentless, undivided attention. The attention from another person may fill an unfulfilled need. The person who gives the attention or complies with the need for attention unknowingly fuels the controllers' neediness.
Yet another example is the classic bully whose attitude is outright invalidating and intimidating. Then, there is the controller who manipulates others by words, body language, and actions. The manipulator will pray upon others vulnerabilities to comply with their desires or needs. They may convince another person that they should feel this way or should think this way. I will give additional examples in future posts.
Please check out my website at www.idaretoheal.com and purchase my books, "I Dare to Heal with Compassionate Love" and "I Dare to Heal with Spiritual Power". They can be purchased from Barnes & Noble.
Best
Joel V.
The four categories of co-dependence are those who harbor patterns of controll over others, those who comply with those who control, those who are in denial, and finally those who have low self-esteem.
Those who have patterns of control are usually deceptive in their behaviors. The person who harbors control can be a family member, an employer, a friend, an associate on the job, or a public governmental entity. Can you think of someone in your environment who fits the "controller" description?
Sometimes, it's clear and evident by their words, body language, and actions. Sometimes, it's very unclear and perhaps their words are glib. One example is the person who has a controlling behavior lacks "feelings" underlying their words.
Another example is the person who harbors control, when challenged, will rage in a vicious, paralyzing way. This type of person may crave unrelentless, undivided attention. The attention from another person may fill an unfulfilled need. The person who gives the attention or complies with the need for attention unknowingly fuels the controllers' neediness.
Yet another example is the classic bully whose attitude is outright invalidating and intimidating. Then, there is the controller who manipulates others by words, body language, and actions. The manipulator will pray upon others vulnerabilities to comply with their desires or needs. They may convince another person that they should feel this way or should think this way. I will give additional examples in future posts.
Please check out my website at www.idaretoheal.com and purchase my books, "I Dare to Heal with Compassionate Love" and "I Dare to Heal with Spiritual Power". They can be purchased from Barnes & Noble.
Best
Joel V.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Controllers
Controllers
Patterns of Control come in many manipulations, patterns, but only four categories. First, We need to stay alert/aware to what, how, others say, their body language, and their "behaviors"!
For example, If and when someone asks you for your phone number, do you question the reason they're asking for your phone number? What are the circumstances/situation that motivates them to request your phone number. Is the asking for your phone number about them, about their neediness, their dependence, their co-dependence. Are they asking for your phone number to help, support you or is it "all about them"?
This is also true regarding relationships. What is the purpose for someone requesting your phone number after you have met them in a dating situation/circumstance?
Please check out the controllers body language. Is the body language rigid? Is what they say, how they say it monotone, has rigidity in its tone of voice?
Please check out my website, www.idaretoheal.com, purchase my books, "I Dare to Heal with Compassionate Love", and "I Dare to Heal with Spiritual Power". I'm specialize in counseling others about co-dependence issues, controlling, complying, denial, and low self-esteem categories.
Best
Joel V. BA, Education, BBA Business Marketing, M.A Psychology of Human Behavior.
Patterns of Control come in many manipulations, patterns, but only four categories. First, We need to stay alert/aware to what, how, others say, their body language, and their "behaviors"!
For example, If and when someone asks you for your phone number, do you question the reason they're asking for your phone number? What are the circumstances/situation that motivates them to request your phone number. Is the asking for your phone number about them, about their neediness, their dependence, their co-dependence. Are they asking for your phone number to help, support you or is it "all about them"?
This is also true regarding relationships. What is the purpose for someone requesting your phone number after you have met them in a dating situation/circumstance?
Please check out the controllers body language. Is the body language rigid? Is what they say, how they say it monotone, has rigidity in its tone of voice?
Please check out my website, www.idaretoheal.com, purchase my books, "I Dare to Heal with Compassionate Love", and "I Dare to Heal with Spiritual Power". I'm specialize in counseling others about co-dependence issues, controlling, complying, denial, and low self-esteem categories.
Best
Joel V. BA, Education, BBA Business Marketing, M.A Psychology of Human Behavior.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Loving Relationships - Two - Denial
Loving Relationships - Two - Denial
Denial is a major defense that needs to be addressed in intimate relationships. Denial is also a major co-dependence category. It just takes courage for partners to be true to themselves. Often, one must confront "belief systems" that are embedded, ingrained, imprinted, genetically coded, hard wired, and deeply rooted. It's here where partners must have the will, the willing (the intention), and the willingness (the action) to do what it takes to address effectively/efficiently the patterns that support the beliefs or belief systems.
Often, overwhelming words, verbage are used to hide, distort, the beliefs and the fears underlying the acting out of the neediness and rigidities. How wonderful it would be if and when honesty prevails. How wonderful it would be if and when individuals could be real with themselves and their partners. How wonderful it would be if and when partners can just support each other in addressing issues. How wonderful it would be if and when partners can just open up and express their fears and have the other partners support as processing of the fears take place.
The secret is taking responsibility for ones unhealthy feelings, emotions, beliefs, and behaviors by addressing them. It requires persistence, perseverance, and patience. I speak about many practices in the post "Letter to Petra". The practices only work if and when partners are just real with each other. There is no thing, nothing to be afraid of.
Please check out my website, www.idaretoheal.com and purchase my books "I Dare to Heal with Compassionate Love", and "I Dare to Heal with Spiritual Power". I'm available for counseling others on co-dependency issues in two weeks. Contact info is on my website.
Best
Joel V.
Denial is a major defense that needs to be addressed in intimate relationships. Denial is also a major co-dependence category. It just takes courage for partners to be true to themselves. Often, one must confront "belief systems" that are embedded, ingrained, imprinted, genetically coded, hard wired, and deeply rooted. It's here where partners must have the will, the willing (the intention), and the willingness (the action) to do what it takes to address effectively/efficiently the patterns that support the beliefs or belief systems.
Often, overwhelming words, verbage are used to hide, distort, the beliefs and the fears underlying the acting out of the neediness and rigidities. How wonderful it would be if and when honesty prevails. How wonderful it would be if and when individuals could be real with themselves and their partners. How wonderful it would be if and when partners can just support each other in addressing issues. How wonderful it would be if and when partners can just open up and express their fears and have the other partners support as processing of the fears take place.
The secret is taking responsibility for ones unhealthy feelings, emotions, beliefs, and behaviors by addressing them. It requires persistence, perseverance, and patience. I speak about many practices in the post "Letter to Petra". The practices only work if and when partners are just real with each other. There is no thing, nothing to be afraid of.
Please check out my website, www.idaretoheal.com and purchase my books "I Dare to Heal with Compassionate Love", and "I Dare to Heal with Spiritual Power". I'm available for counseling others on co-dependency issues in two weeks. Contact info is on my website.
Best
Joel V.
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