Controllers - Learning to Assert Your Voice -

Some other patterns of "controllers" include, having the belief that "others" cannot take care of themselves. A controller may have the belief that "others" are helpless and don't have the strength, physically, mentally, emotionally to help themselves. There certainly is a difference in the cliche providing a fishing pole so people can fish, and fishing "for" the person, catching the fish, and preparing it as food for them.

The person who provides the fishing pole, fishes, catches the fish, and prepares it for the "other" person can be said to be most likely in many cases to be controlling.
Another pattern of "controllers" is to have sex with someone to gain the "others" approval and acceptance. Insead, of having a sensual and sexually relationship with them because of "feelings" reflective of the emotion of love. There are many people who are "needy" that satisfy this category.

One way of contradicting controllers is go beyond, transcend, transform, your fear and assert your voice, speak up. Again, "fear" is the usually obstacle in these circumstances and situations. Compliers or pleasers will experience "fear" which prevents them from expressing their "needs", feelings, and emotions. When we do not express or assert our voice, it is then that our self-esteem just may be impacted negatively.

We must have the will, be willing (the intention), and the willingness (taking action), to process, to address, access, connect with, go into, (or transcend), release, relinquish, let go of, and transmit the "feelings" reflective of the emotion of fear from terror out of our body. I speak about many ways to accomplish this in my books. There are many ways to accomplish this task whatever the degree, depth, facets, and dimensions of the intensity of feelings reflective of the range of fear of emotion might be.

When we assert our voice and contradict "control", it's important not to have any expectations, outcomes, or results. If and when we do have expectations, outcomes, or results, it then that we become to the controllers. "Controllers" don't always say "I'm Sorry". They don't always apologize for their behaviors. The don't alway take responsibility for their issue. The key is to find the strength to stand up for oneself and learn to assert your voice and ask, request for amends. The result for you is better self-esteem.

Please check out my website, http://www.idaretoheal.com/, purchase my books, "I Dare to Heal with Compassionate Love", and "I Dare to Heal with Spiritual Power (can be ordered at Barnes & Noble, Christian Book Stores, Borders,).

Best
Joel V. BA, Education, BBA, Business Admin. M.A. Psychology of Human Behavior