9/11, Excerpt from "I Dare to Heal with Spiritual Power"
Today is 9/11, ten years after. I sat in a CODA (co-dependence meeting) and shared my grief at the occurrence of the destruction of innocent lives . The tears rolled down my eyes. Here is an excerpt from my book "I Dare to Heal with Spiritual Power" as it reflects my visit to the site shortly after its destruction. I'm a New Yorker. I grew up on it's streets, its "projects", the red brick buildings. I went to its public schools and colleges. I walked the streets of Manhattan many times from the Village, Sutton Place, East Harlem, 34th street, Rockefeller Plaza, Olmstead's Central Park, the Upper West and East Sides, The Garment District, Park Avenue, Grand Central Station, Pennsylvania Avenue, Little Italy, Washington Square Park, Gramacy Park, Baruch College, Columbia University, Macy's, Soho, China Town, Germantown, Hell's Kitchen, the Lower East Side, Houston Street, 14th street, Chelsea, Herald Square, The Toy District, Stuyvesant Town, Cooper Union, New York University, Central Park West, Broadway, Frances Tavern, The Closters, Restaurant Row, The Theater, Shopping, The Museums, The Jewelry District, 666 Ffifth Ave, Wall Street, and of course the World Trade Center. These are but some of the places that are etched in my memory. It's also the experiences that I shared with others.
The Exerpt of Two Paragraphs
I approached ground zero after having lunch with Don Schmall and felt an immediate sense of grief at the magnitude of the tragedy that transpired at the site. I thought of those family members who were still in sheer grief of those who have lost their lives of their loved ones. I knew the key was for people to access their grief with listening support and negotiate their feelings. Again, this is a gradual process. The emotional impact of the bringing down of the Twin Towers at World Trade Center will be long lasting. The many lives that have been lost, the realization of vulnerability of the United States is yet to be realized. There are those individuals who have yet to realize their own impermanence and vulnerability in life. The shock is so great that denial permeates one's reality, awareness, and consciousness.
Humankind seemed frozen in an uncanny state of silence. I stood in but a small group of on-lookers. The shock of disbelief just seemed to permeate the moment. The rain was coming down upon the narrow street that bordered the former WTC site. Broadway was near and vehicles lumbered along the streets on either side. The crowd was small, but the silence was overwhelming. The smell of jet fuel and its stench in the surrounding air was evident. We seemed to share and feel a range of emotions which naturally rise within us. Anger of great depth, degree,and dimension was present. The density and intensity of the feelings of those surrounding me was unknown to me, but I certainly sensed strong emotions and the emotional vibrations from a shared sense of disbelief of others who stood shoulder to shoulder with me. Sadness and grief with its overwhelming sensation was incomprehensible to the intellect. I could sense these emotions as they penetrated through the crowd. It seemed we were spiritually one with these feelings, feelings, feelings. There was no stopping them. They came naturally. The feelings were overwhelming, numbing, and paralyzing. We seemed paralyzed in time and space in the moment. There was a knowing of the horror that took place here. Here! Nearby!
Please purchase the books located on the website: www.idaretoheal.com. Invite me for presentations, hire me for counseling sessions, single and couples, donate to the blog sites, and of course consultations.
Best
Joel V. BA. Education, BBA. Business Admin, M.A. Masters of Psychology, Human Behavior.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Deep Seated, Imprinted, Embedded, Hard Wired, Compulsive, Neediness Reflective of Fetishes!
Deep Seated,Imprinted, Embedded,Hard Wired,Compulsive,Neediness Reflective of Fetishes!
Fetishes have been associated with an emotional disorder. It's my contention that there is a direct relationship of deep seated, Imprinted, Embedded, Hard Wired Neediness Reflective of Fetishes!
If and when one processes the inner pain reflective of emotional neediness (unfulfilled frozen need) the sexual attraction for an object begins to dissipate.
Often, one is totally unaware of the emotional connection between deep seated unaware neediness and an object. However, the result of processing pain reflective of deep seated emotional unfulfilled needs reflective of neediness will in fact dissipate the unaware attraction one has to an object.
The use of connected healing breath to address, access the deep seated feelings reflective of emotions and then to sigh, surrender, release, relinquish, discharge, and let go of the painful feelings reflective of the emotional unfulfilled needs produces definitive healing of the attraction that one has to an object.
Neediness is a chronic disease and it has many descriptive manifestations. The fetish is definitively one of them.
Buy my books located on the side panel. Donate to the site! Hire me to do presentations, consulting, counseling singles, pairs, and please just do it and do not hesitate. My contact information is at www.idaretoheal.com
Best
Joel V. BA. Education, BBA. Business Admin, MA. Masters of Psychology, Human Behavior
Fetishes have been associated with an emotional disorder. It's my contention that there is a direct relationship of deep seated, Imprinted, Embedded, Hard Wired Neediness Reflective of Fetishes!
If and when one processes the inner pain reflective of emotional neediness (unfulfilled frozen need) the sexual attraction for an object begins to dissipate.
Often, one is totally unaware of the emotional connection between deep seated unaware neediness and an object. However, the result of processing pain reflective of deep seated emotional unfulfilled needs reflective of neediness will in fact dissipate the unaware attraction one has to an object.
The use of connected healing breath to address, access the deep seated feelings reflective of emotions and then to sigh, surrender, release, relinquish, discharge, and let go of the painful feelings reflective of the emotional unfulfilled needs produces definitive healing of the attraction that one has to an object.
Neediness is a chronic disease and it has many descriptive manifestations. The fetish is definitively one of them.
Buy my books located on the side panel. Donate to the site! Hire me to do presentations, consulting, counseling singles, pairs, and please just do it and do not hesitate. My contact information is at www.idaretoheal.com
Best
Joel V. BA. Education, BBA. Business Admin, MA. Masters of Psychology, Human Behavior
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Addressing Panic Disorder
Addressing Panic Disorder
Panic Disorder is a knee jerk reaction. The use of breathwork facilitates moving beyond the knee jerk reaction reflective of the instantanious panic reaction. The knee jerk reaction reflective of the panic attack has instantaneous emotional depth, dimension, and degree. The "feelings reflective of the emotions" must be accessed. They can be accessed by the circular connected healing breath and then the release, discharge, relinquishment, and the letting go of feelings reflective of emotions must occur.
What's scary is the knee jerk panic reaction. We can free ourselves from the bondage of the knee jerk panic reaction by breathing into and beyond the "panic reaction". The practice, persistence, and learning the self-discipline of connecting with the feelings by way of the circular connected healing breath and their release will expedite and resolve panic reaction.
The discharge process facilitates our healing of the knee jerk panic attacks. Gradually, gradually, gradually will free ourselves from the instantanious reactions. The result is more self-confidence and freedom from this self-destructive pattern.
Please buy my books. I'm available for consultations, presentations, counseling individuals, and couples.
Best
Joel V. BA. Education, BBA. Business Admin, M.A. Masters of Psychology Human Behavior.
Panic Disorder is a knee jerk reaction. The use of breathwork facilitates moving beyond the knee jerk reaction reflective of the instantanious panic reaction. The knee jerk reaction reflective of the panic attack has instantaneous emotional depth, dimension, and degree. The "feelings reflective of the emotions" must be accessed. They can be accessed by the circular connected healing breath and then the release, discharge, relinquishment, and the letting go of feelings reflective of emotions must occur.
What's scary is the knee jerk panic reaction. We can free ourselves from the bondage of the knee jerk panic reaction by breathing into and beyond the "panic reaction". The practice, persistence, and learning the self-discipline of connecting with the feelings by way of the circular connected healing breath and their release will expedite and resolve panic reaction.
The discharge process facilitates our healing of the knee jerk panic attacks. Gradually, gradually, gradually will free ourselves from the instantanious reactions. The result is more self-confidence and freedom from this self-destructive pattern.
Please buy my books. I'm available for consultations, presentations, counseling individuals, and couples.
Best
Joel V. BA. Education, BBA. Business Admin, M.A. Masters of Psychology Human Behavior.
Monday, July 25, 2011
The Power and At Times Necessity of the Use of "Rage" in Your Relationships
The Power and At Times Necessity of the Use of "Rage" in Your Relationships.
If and when someone in your relationship circle friend, relative, client, co-employee or yes even employer becomes or is abusive verbally, then the necessity of the use of "rage" in the relationship may be justified.
If and when fear, temperament, desperation or a combination of the three or for whatever reason motivates an individual to behave in an abusive way; if he/she is unwilling to listen is impatient and continues to behave in an abusive way then "rage" maybe the only, only, answer.
The beauty of "Animated Laughter with Feelings" is it's use by a person to "process" feelings reflective of emotions in a constructive, positive, creative, high energy, and hilarious way. It's fun to process (let go of, discharge, relinquish, release) dissonant feelings reflect of emotions by way of "Animated Laughter with Feelings".
However,finding the voice for rage; asserting yourself with rage may not be easy. When we learn to process our feelings constructively then our connection with our instinctive reactions and responses facilitate our expression of our feelings and emotions. Instinctively, one may react or respond with rage out of sheer emotional self-protection.
The emotional "self" may experience emotional devastation because of verbal abuse. Our only choice just maybe a reaction and response of rage to protect ourselves.
Perhaps you can think of those times in your life when the use of rage maybe useful?
"God grant me the serenity to accept others, situations, circumstances that I cannot "control". There are times when we were infants the experience of terror from our family of origin members placed us in conflict with ourselves. Perhaps, we experienced emotional devastation from our family of origin. We were helpless and had no way of controlling the adults rage against us. The result was we were terrified. The terror caused us to attempt to control others behavior in relationship to ourselves. Underlying our need to control others was our accumulated terror of the adults in our lives acting act against us. The result was our emotional devastation. We developed the need to prevent our emotional devastation so we learned defenses in order to control their terrifying behaviors in relationship to ourselves. In present time, we developed an inner conflict. We needed to prevent them from acting out and emotionally devastating us. Our inner conflict resulted in anxiety. We can free ourselves by processing our pain; processing our feelings reflective of the range of emotion from fear through terror. As we do so, we integrate the self, become more connected in mind, body, and spirit! We learn once again gradually to become precious and free!
"Rage" is definately only one way we can learn to express ourselves (if situations, circumstances call for it). "Rage" becomes but one form of expression in our arsenal to support and help us to protect the "self".
Please purchase my books located on the side panel. I'm available for presentations, holistic counseling, and consulting.
Best
Joel V BA. Education, BBA. Business Admin, M.A. Psychology of Human Behavior.
If and when someone in your relationship circle friend, relative, client, co-employee or yes even employer becomes or is abusive verbally, then the necessity of the use of "rage" in the relationship may be justified.
If and when fear, temperament, desperation or a combination of the three or for whatever reason motivates an individual to behave in an abusive way; if he/she is unwilling to listen is impatient and continues to behave in an abusive way then "rage" maybe the only, only, answer.
The beauty of "Animated Laughter with Feelings" is it's use by a person to "process" feelings reflective of emotions in a constructive, positive, creative, high energy, and hilarious way. It's fun to process (let go of, discharge, relinquish, release) dissonant feelings reflect of emotions by way of "Animated Laughter with Feelings".
However,finding the voice for rage; asserting yourself with rage may not be easy. When we learn to process our feelings constructively then our connection with our instinctive reactions and responses facilitate our expression of our feelings and emotions. Instinctively, one may react or respond with rage out of sheer emotional self-protection.
The emotional "self" may experience emotional devastation because of verbal abuse. Our only choice just maybe a reaction and response of rage to protect ourselves.
Perhaps you can think of those times in your life when the use of rage maybe useful?
"God grant me the serenity to accept others, situations, circumstances that I cannot "control". There are times when we were infants the experience of terror from our family of origin members placed us in conflict with ourselves. Perhaps, we experienced emotional devastation from our family of origin. We were helpless and had no way of controlling the adults rage against us. The result was we were terrified. The terror caused us to attempt to control others behavior in relationship to ourselves. Underlying our need to control others was our accumulated terror of the adults in our lives acting act against us. The result was our emotional devastation. We developed the need to prevent our emotional devastation so we learned defenses in order to control their terrifying behaviors in relationship to ourselves. In present time, we developed an inner conflict. We needed to prevent them from acting out and emotionally devastating us. Our inner conflict resulted in anxiety. We can free ourselves by processing our pain; processing our feelings reflective of the range of emotion from fear through terror. As we do so, we integrate the self, become more connected in mind, body, and spirit! We learn once again gradually to become precious and free!
"Rage" is definately only one way we can learn to express ourselves (if situations, circumstances call for it). "Rage" becomes but one form of expression in our arsenal to support and help us to protect the "self".
Please purchase my books located on the side panel. I'm available for presentations, holistic counseling, and consulting.
Best
Joel V BA. Education, BBA. Business Admin, M.A. Psychology of Human Behavior.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Unfulfilled Needs, Emotional Pain Reflective of Frustrations, Neediness, Anxiety, Insecurity, Compliance, Low Self-Esteem, then Release, Recovery, Self-Acceptance.
Unfulfilled Needs, Emotional Pain Reflective of Frustrations, Neediness, Anxiety, Insecurity,
Compliance, Low Self-Esteem then Release, Recovery, Self-Acceptance.
The chain that I describe above reflects a profound co-dependence that originates from birth trauma, emotional neglect (lack of nurturing), developmental neglect, emotional abuse, and/or abandonment, separation, betrayal. The chain is triggered by events, situations, circumstances, that reflects similar occurrences.
The above links in the equation seem to hold true. They are definitively clear. Emotional healing and the use of healing methods are essential.
Fortunately, if and when self-help alternative and traditional methods are used then healing can and will take place. There is definitely hope. Most licensed Doctors do not have the experience to suggest complimentary and alternative medicine or methods of addressing the above chain of disease and healing procedures. I'm a product of positive results. It does take courage to heal. However, the courage does in fact come when an individual seeks methods that will help them to help themselves.
Rigid beliefs usually prevent people from "opening up". Rigid beliefs prevent people from "changing". The use of flexible intelligence dissipates if and when rigid mechanical responses and reactions result from emotional hurt and trauma. We often just do not think about our rigid, mechanical, so-called canned responses.
I think a discussion on "changing" will be a forthcoming post on this blog.
I'm available for holistic counseling, consulting, book presentations, Peer Counseling Classes, "Animated Laughter with Feelings" classes. Buy my books located on the side panel of the blog.
Best
Joel V.
Compliance, Low Self-Esteem then Release, Recovery, Self-Acceptance.
The chain that I describe above reflects a profound co-dependence that originates from birth trauma, emotional neglect (lack of nurturing), developmental neglect, emotional abuse, and/or abandonment, separation, betrayal. The chain is triggered by events, situations, circumstances, that reflects similar occurrences.
The above links in the equation seem to hold true. They are definitively clear. Emotional healing and the use of healing methods are essential.
Fortunately, if and when self-help alternative and traditional methods are used then healing can and will take place. There is definitely hope. Most licensed Doctors do not have the experience to suggest complimentary and alternative medicine or methods of addressing the above chain of disease and healing procedures. I'm a product of positive results. It does take courage to heal. However, the courage does in fact come when an individual seeks methods that will help them to help themselves.
Rigid beliefs usually prevent people from "opening up". Rigid beliefs prevent people from "changing". The use of flexible intelligence dissipates if and when rigid mechanical responses and reactions result from emotional hurt and trauma. We often just do not think about our rigid, mechanical, so-called canned responses.
I think a discussion on "changing" will be a forthcoming post on this blog.
I'm available for holistic counseling, consulting, book presentations, Peer Counseling Classes, "Animated Laughter with Feelings" classes. Buy my books located on the side panel of the blog.
Best
Joel V.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Victim, Guilt, Dumping From Others, From Yourself!
Victim, Guilt, Dumping From Others, From Yourself!
Setting External Boundaries.
Have you ever felt like a victim. Has someone dumped their nonsense on you. Have you bought into it and experienced guilt. The guilt is destructive to the self. It can result in a sense of neediness. The guilt and the neediness result in a upset of and to the self. It causes a disconnect to the self. It can result in an emotional disconnect of mind, body, and spirit. It can cause a lack of your own self-acceptance and self-esteem. Well, the solution is to set boundaries and to assert yourself with the person who is dumping on you. The boundaries must be internal as well. We say "stop" to our internalizing any judgments we have about ourselves.
Perhaps you say that it's not so easy to set boundaries with others? If you say so then guaranteed the person who was dumping "knew" that you were emotionally vulnerable. Most likely, they intuitively knew that they could dump on you. Most likely, they picked up on your vulnerability because of their own insecurity. The picked up on it because they too are frightened insecure little girls or boys as well. They have a control pattern that perpetuates their own low self-esteem onto others through their invalidation and put-downs.
I have a friend whose former significant other grow up as a spoiled brat. Everything was given to them. They didn't have to work for things. They expected to be catered to. They expected to receive. They needed to go within and address their unfulfilled need for self-discipline and structure that was never imprinted, ingrained, and embedded within themselves. We must learn to set boundaries with these individuals and we must learn to assert our voices.
Some patterns begin at birth as trauma and expand lifelong. It's tough to determine that they are birth traumas unless one has effectively addressed them on an on-going basis. However, it can become clear in time as a pattern repeats itself and one becomes aware of the carriers story.
Setting Internal Boundaries.
It's important to stay alert and aware of your unfulfilled needs. Unfulfilled needs can trigger frustrations which in term can cause internalized self-anger, upset, and lower self-esteem. When we stay alert and aware of our unfulfilled needs we can address them by asking for support, by using our flexible intelligence and finding alternatives. Knee jerk self-defeating, internalized anger can only add fuel to a beginning fire. If and when we have self-discipline we can address immediately our unfulfilled needs by setting internal boundaries. We can use methods that resonate with us that puts a stop to emotional self-defeating emotions. We can also use our flexible intelligence to find alternatives in filling our unfulfilled needs.
Please purchase my books on the side panel or access them on amazon kindle. I'm available for counseling, consultations, presentations, and group motivational seminars.
Best
Joel V. BA. Education, BBA. Business Admin, M.A. Masters of Psychology, Human Behavior.
Setting External Boundaries.
Have you ever felt like a victim. Has someone dumped their nonsense on you. Have you bought into it and experienced guilt. The guilt is destructive to the self. It can result in a sense of neediness. The guilt and the neediness result in a upset of and to the self. It causes a disconnect to the self. It can result in an emotional disconnect of mind, body, and spirit. It can cause a lack of your own self-acceptance and self-esteem. Well, the solution is to set boundaries and to assert yourself with the person who is dumping on you. The boundaries must be internal as well. We say "stop" to our internalizing any judgments we have about ourselves.
Perhaps you say that it's not so easy to set boundaries with others? If you say so then guaranteed the person who was dumping "knew" that you were emotionally vulnerable. Most likely, they intuitively knew that they could dump on you. Most likely, they picked up on your vulnerability because of their own insecurity. The picked up on it because they too are frightened insecure little girls or boys as well. They have a control pattern that perpetuates their own low self-esteem onto others through their invalidation and put-downs.
I have a friend whose former significant other grow up as a spoiled brat. Everything was given to them. They didn't have to work for things. They expected to be catered to. They expected to receive. They needed to go within and address their unfulfilled need for self-discipline and structure that was never imprinted, ingrained, and embedded within themselves. We must learn to set boundaries with these individuals and we must learn to assert our voices.
Some patterns begin at birth as trauma and expand lifelong. It's tough to determine that they are birth traumas unless one has effectively addressed them on an on-going basis. However, it can become clear in time as a pattern repeats itself and one becomes aware of the carriers story.
Setting Internal Boundaries.
It's important to stay alert and aware of your unfulfilled needs. Unfulfilled needs can trigger frustrations which in term can cause internalized self-anger, upset, and lower self-esteem. When we stay alert and aware of our unfulfilled needs we can address them by asking for support, by using our flexible intelligence and finding alternatives. Knee jerk self-defeating, internalized anger can only add fuel to a beginning fire. If and when we have self-discipline we can address immediately our unfulfilled needs by setting internal boundaries. We can use methods that resonate with us that puts a stop to emotional self-defeating emotions. We can also use our flexible intelligence to find alternatives in filling our unfulfilled needs.
Please purchase my books on the side panel or access them on amazon kindle. I'm available for counseling, consultations, presentations, and group motivational seminars.
Best
Joel V. BA. Education, BBA. Business Admin, M.A. Masters of Psychology, Human Behavior.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
The Bi-Polar Relationship
The Bi-Polar Relationship
My friend received an eviction notice because of the behavior of their significant other at their rented residence. They had lived at their present residence for many, many years. My friend is a very solid, anchored in themselves as an individual. The significant other has bi-polar, schizophrenic mental illness. The significant other has had manic episodes over the years and the residents have been very patient with the behaviors. My friend has been through a great deal of emotional ups and downs over the past decades because of the behaviors of their partner. I have the greatest compassion for both of them.
It's important for a significant other to realize early on in a relationship the grief that a/ their partner can cause them because of manic behaviors. It's important for a significant other to decide early on whether or not to continue in a relationship with a diagnosed bi-polar schizophrenic. Love is a powerful motivating emotion that can keep individuals together. The power of loneliness is yet another.
Fortunately, spirit has a solution. A loving Spirit/God doesn't want a human being to suffer with pain in a partnership. A loving Spirit/God doesn't want a human being to "endure" pain and suffering. Enduring pain/suffering is self-destructive/self-defeating and truly unkind to self!
The use of the circular connected breath the attitude/mindset of connection, the attitude/mindset of sigh/surrender/release, the attitude/mindset of doing it again, the eleven manifestations of emotional release, the access to the pain by way of primal sound and a deepening connection with a loving higher power is a solution. Prayer is yet another way to learn transcendence and transformation of pain/suffering and experience serenity in a chosen relationship with a partner.
Please take a moment to check out my books on the side panel, purchase many of them through Barnes & Noble, Borders, and Amazon, Amazon Kindle. I'm available for counseling/consulting/presentations as well. Please donate to the sites including www.idaretoheal.blog.com
Best
Joel V. BA. Education, BBA. Business Admin, M.A. Master's Psychology, Human Behavior
My friend received an eviction notice because of the behavior of their significant other at their rented residence. They had lived at their present residence for many, many years. My friend is a very solid, anchored in themselves as an individual. The significant other has bi-polar, schizophrenic mental illness. The significant other has had manic episodes over the years and the residents have been very patient with the behaviors. My friend has been through a great deal of emotional ups and downs over the past decades because of the behaviors of their partner. I have the greatest compassion for both of them.
It's important for a significant other to realize early on in a relationship the grief that a/ their partner can cause them because of manic behaviors. It's important for a significant other to decide early on whether or not to continue in a relationship with a diagnosed bi-polar schizophrenic. Love is a powerful motivating emotion that can keep individuals together. The power of loneliness is yet another.
Fortunately, spirit has a solution. A loving Spirit/God doesn't want a human being to suffer with pain in a partnership. A loving Spirit/God doesn't want a human being to "endure" pain and suffering. Enduring pain/suffering is self-destructive/self-defeating and truly unkind to self!
The use of the circular connected breath the attitude/mindset of connection, the attitude/mindset of sigh/surrender/release, the attitude/mindset of doing it again, the eleven manifestations of emotional release, the access to the pain by way of primal sound and a deepening connection with a loving higher power is a solution. Prayer is yet another way to learn transcendence and transformation of pain/suffering and experience serenity in a chosen relationship with a partner.
Please take a moment to check out my books on the side panel, purchase many of them through Barnes & Noble, Borders, and Amazon, Amazon Kindle. I'm available for counseling/consulting/presentations as well. Please donate to the sites including www.idaretoheal.blog.com
Best
Joel V. BA. Education, BBA. Business Admin, M.A. Master's Psychology, Human Behavior
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)